Very comfortable, fit very well, don't sit too far above the knees, impress people and command respect
April 3, 2015
So I've worn these pants exactly once, I woke up hung over on a Saturday morning after what wasn't meant to be a long night of Wii golf and board games. As I sat in the morning wondering why I had punished my body so, and what good the rest of my day could possibly be, I had a realization: the driving range. Why not go out and hit a few golf balls, drink some water, and try to sweat out the sadness?
Needless to say I went and I hit admirably, surrounded by old men with all the control and none of my fearsome power. I hit 80 balls before deciding, "Hey, you're hitting pretty well. Let's go solo queue and see if I can't get a round in." I'm glad I did. I managed to get a tee time with a threesome teeing off in just ten minutes. I approached the group, slightly wary as I had never worn these shorts, and I had never solo queued in golf. It was two older gentleman and a bombshell named (for the sake of anonymity) Abby. I shook hands and introduced myself, following their eye lines directly to my new shorts, shorts that legitimized my presence, shorts that gave me the long ball all the girls dig.
"So, twenty dollars a hole from the tips?" I laughed, confidence flowing from my shorts. They laughed, more importantly, she laughed, eyes surely twinkling from behind her sunglasses, eyes enchanted by my shorts.
I stretched and soon it was my turn to hit. Abby had hit a straight ball from the whites, out driving all before her. It was my chance to impress beyond just shorts, beyond knowing what important gear was and how important gear should behave. I took my stance, acutely aware of one thing; these shorts were breathing. They were light and they hung just above the knee, showing the right amount of tantalizing thigh. They gave the impression that I had a butt, for once in my life I had a glorious butt, and no one could contradict the shorts so it must be so. I brought the club back, channeling my inner pro golfer, and swung.
I sliced it hard into the field and abandoned the ball out of embarrassment.
Pros:Breathable, light, and don't show a weird amount of white thigh most golf shorts manage to flaunt. They feel tough (enough) and wash well.
Cons:They don't help you impress young women golfers who go on to crush your score, leaving you equal parts enthralled and disillusioned.